My dearest non commodity, non replaceable niece

My dear pumpkin,

My wish is to leave you with these true feeling, events and emotion that I am going through now so that when you grow older, you can somewhat relate and learn from me, your beloved aunt who loves you dearly.

Its 5:13 am, I have been awake for an hour and just could not go back to bed.  I recently ended a 2 year relationship, you actually know this person.  I decided to do the incredibly unwise thing: go on facebook.  What was I looking for?  I had no idea.  I mindlessly began scrolling the newsfeed, getting caught in article about why good men never cheat or what makes a great sex life.  Everything was read in a attempt to satisfy my desire to be right in the decision to leave him.

One unwise decision led to another, I went to his friends’ list and just started stalking the good looking ones he had friended/dated.  What on earth would your aunt do such a humiliated thing?  Why would a respectable woman behave like this?  Yes my dear, it happens and it happens to the best of us when we swallow our own self respect in the dark when no one is looking.  Even now when I looked back at the last 30 minutes, I am ashamed of what I did because this was not the first time.  I am not perfect my love, I am at this very moment a woman with a broken heart frantically searching for a way to put a bandage on the still bleeding wound.

The pictures of the girls gave me no joy but more uneasy feelings.  Pictures of them naked or showing off their bodies on facebook with all the likes and loves from people I don’t know and from the man I loved caused me more troubles.  The first thought that came to my mind seeing the pictures of their fully or half naked bodies was: I could also do that with my body and more; if I want to show off my 32E breast size she would had nothing to compare; if only all these men know that this picture was heavily edited…  Yes, my dear, it was dark and filled with insecure & self protected thought. Still, it gave me no relief and no love for these women nor myself.  Their bodies are not commodities to be compared and traded.  There will always be more attractive women with incredible bodies that will beat the ones I just looked at.  The fact of the matter is not how beautiful you are to the rest of the world but to the one person you will one day decide to marry.  What special and “just for him” images will you have solely reserve for him?

So, what is the moral of this story?  It is that you are beautiful as much as I am beautiful and all the girls in this world are.  There is no need to compare with others and no need to shame them.  We are unique in our own ways and there will never be one as different as each one of us, and no picture of any kind can tell you who you are.  So my love, be wise on what you are going to put out there in this world because you WILL be judged one way or another.  Love  yourself and see yourself through the eyes of those who truly love you and care for you.  If you don’t, you will start seeing yourself through the lens of strangers whom you will never fully please.  One more thing, don’t try to find any peace on facebook since it never seems to work out that way for me.

Love you to the moon and back,

Your very unwise aunt at 5 am



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