It’s the day before New Year’s eve. I’m sitting at my desk, looking outside from my office window. The ground is covered with snow and randomly sparkles when the rare sunlight shines on it. It is a cold winter day. Today is December 30th, 2015. The day after the 2nd unsuccessful proposal plan from my darling prince charming. The 2nd time I asked him to give me more time before I say the ultimate “yes.”
As a girl, like most girls in this planet, I dreamed of this moment way too early. I planned my wedding when I was in third grade, and I am confident I finalized my dreamed wedding with every detail when I finished 5th grade. Some minor changes were thought of since then, but most of it I have lived with for years. I imagine that day: The awkward date the man I love would take me on, the nervousness of him that day, his sweat, his slurred words. Then, he would stop, turn around and face me. He would tell me how I have changed his life forever, and how it would make no sense whatsoever for him to continue to walk this earth without his other half. And I would freeze. My hands would get so cold and shaky, and tears would uncontrollably roll down my face. I would not even be able to mumble the word. I could only nod and smile. All of the sudden, loud music with fireworks would start. He would laugh, pick me up and swing me around. Then all of my family and friends who have been hiding all this time would come out with tears,presents, flowers and everything else beautiful that I love. That would be how I would feel and act on the day I am proposed.
Not yesterday, not 6 months before, I did not feel that way. I had more questions needed answers, more signs needed to believe, more …. “track record” of a Godly man to say “yes.” Long time ago, God was not a part of my proposal plan. He was not a part of my daily life, and He certainly was not a part of my marriage life. Yet, now, He is front and center. He is everything I want. That means, the man who will lead and be my best friend and my husband would have to feel the same about God. But how can you prove the heart? How can you see the heart of mankind? How can I know what is true and not when it comes to the heart. The heart, as Tim Keller had said in his recent sermon, is not just feeling; it is a combination of intelligence, feeling, and action that transform you and your every aspect of life. The heart is what God wants.
So, my dearest darling, I want that heart of yours. So yes, I will go on a date with you tonight as you so charmingly asked me this afternoon. I will be patient as you continue to develop your relationship with the Lord our God. I will pray that He breaks your heart into pieces and rebuild it with Him at the center and nothing else. Let us date and fall in love again with the one who created us. Let us walk together toward marriage with his blessings knowing that He has a plan for each of us no matter what the outcome may be.
See you tonight my love.