Prince charming, shape wear and all that jazz

Its 10 am.  She woke up, stretched out her arms and short stubby legs.  The birds were chirping, the sun was shining and spring finally came.  Lord, thank you for a great morning!

She half-sleep walked to the kitchen, turned on the water heater for her routine morning detox with lemon and honey.  The little voice in her head optimistically reminded her while attempting not to fill her with guilt and disappointment, “this detox is going to cleanse out everything, all the wine, the snack and the desert you ate last night.”

She continued the routine, made her way into the bathroom, stared at her image in the mirror, “oh gosh, another pimple?”  Her hair was half flat on the right side where she mostly slept on, and the other side looked like a bird’s nest.  She quickly washed her face hoping that face would turned beautiful in the mirror after the soap and the toner solution.

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She had a feeling that it was going to be a good night.  She was going to a benefit dinner with friends in her fancy dress, bold lipstick with heels and all that jazz.  Maybe, just maybe, there could be a handsome and qualified bachelor at this benefit dinner, and with one look, he could fall insanely in love with her.

The picture of a dance floor with Frank Sinatra’s “Somethin’ Stupid” in the background filled her mind.  All the tables were covered with flickering candles and fresh flower and were draped with elegant 100%-cotton black table cloth.  All men and women were in formal attire.  They were talking and smiling. Flirty glances were coming from all directions.

All of the sudden, the music began to get louder and the chatting noises began to fade.  The light shifted from the center of the room to one specific spot at the right corner.  That light was right on top of her.  She felt a tingling sensation, something told her that someone is secretly admiring her.  She traced back the source of this light hoping to find that misterious gaze.  In the dark shadow, the candle light flickered brighter and brighter.  The candle flame swirled left and right revealing a square shaped face with thick dark eye browns.  His eyes were as blue as the ocean.  A softly curl fell gently on his forehead .  She squinted her eyes trying to make out the rest of his face.  He had a thick and well groomed beard surrounding the most succulent lips she has ever encountered.

For one second, their eyes met.  It took her by surprise.  Her heart jumped, and she froze.  All the blood from her hands retrieved back to her heart, leaving her fingers freezing cold.  The sound of her heartbeat became louder and louder.  Her cheeks were burning hot as though they were on fire.  She attempted to suck in the air to cool herself down, but she could not move a muscle.  She lost complete control of her body; breathing and blinking seemed to be such impossible tasks.

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The water pot shrieked the most annoying sound and woke her up from her day dreaming.  “Damn, damn, damn you”, she let out a long deep sigh.

She poured out the water and mixed her detox concoction.  She imaged the hot water going down her throat, making its way down the mess of her intestines and pushed all the junk she stored from last night’s wine event.

Time to choose the dress!  She went into her bed room and looked at all the dresses carefully hung on smooth wooden hangers.  Choice #1: deep cut back green dress, that meant no bra.  “Could be a little bit too much for this benefit event,” she thought.  Laying the green dress on the bed as an option, she moved on to the second choice.  Choice #2: the usual black dress that accentuated her small waste and flatten her stomach by pushing up her breast noticeably.  Choice #3: pencil shirt with a red top that stopped right above her belly.  Both choice #2 and 3 would require some type of shaper.  She walked toward the drawer filled with socks and shape wear.  Picked out 2 pieces that could go with either option 2 or 3.

She pulled the Spanx’s controlled top as far as she could until the bottom became so tight on her private part that it felt uncomfortable.  So uncomfortable that she had to pulled it back down to give room for her reproductive function to breathe and to not feel like it was being constantly grabbed.

She yanked the Spanx from behind, back and forth, in an attempt to smooth out the lines between the bottom of her butt and her thighs.  “Should I even wear panties?” the thought briefly crossed her mind.  The Spanx seemed a bit too long for the dress. She had to adjust the length by pulling up the upper thigh part, carefully tried not to create more lines yet not too high up where the uncomfortable grabbing private part dilemma would happen again.

She looked at herself in the mirror.  Front? Flat belly? Check, well, kind of, good enough.  Back? perky butt?  No.  She was determined to tame this Spanx.  She shook her hips from left to right while pulling the Spanx the opposite direction.  To make sure everything was in place, she held the control top steady and began to thump her legs on the floor, one leg after another.  After 10 seconds of jumping up and down with her two hands tightly gribbed on to the Spanx top, she knew she needed a different strategy.  She quickly flopped herself onto the bed, used every core and arm muscles her body has built to pull the Spanx top up while kicking her legs as though she was drowning.  Sweats began to drip all over her chest, and her hair magically tangled itself into a massive knot on the back of her head.  She wiped her face, quickly combined her hair back down with her tiny, stressed out fingers from all tugging and pulling.  In an attempt to find sanity, she held her breath in for a few second, replaying happy thought she learned from her yoga class.

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Perfect!  She smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror.  Her stomach is tucked and squeezed inside the shear and tightly knitted polyester and cotton material.  Her behind is roundly shaped with no visual sign of her “dimples” a.k.a. cellulite.  Her thighs, “oh my gosh” her eyes widen with horror, were bulgy, obviously pointing out the fact that she was covering her body with shape wear. A loud scream started in her head,  continued with an imaginative open mouth scream  “Ahhhhhhhhh” for the next 10 seconds.  There is no hope for this Spanx!

She took out the other Spanx that was shorter, and started the whole process again.  This time, the thighs were not so bulgy.  “Thank God” she said. “How do I pee?”  The other one with longer length had a cut at the bottom where she could artistically and talentedly work with.  This one was just a straight shot with no “escape route” as she called it.

She weighed the pros and cons of both options, and chose beauty over comfort.  She decided not go to the bathroom for the entire event. 

The safe little black dress was the choice for the night.  She gave herself a smile of satisfaction.  She took off everything as fast as she could and hung everything back up to prepare for the night.  “It is going to be a great night! Just don’t drink and don’t breathe!”

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