Where am I?

26 and single, “steady” job at a fortune 500 corporation that is going through a reorg and trying to “tighten” up budget.  9-5 full time work days, happy hours here and there.

I read the linkedin suggested articles about how to switch your career mid life, I googled “What I wish I knew when I was 20” for suggestions from elders.  I scrolled through BBC world news and saw the news about Mark Zuckerberg cartoon…. and I thought to myself, “What have I been doing for the last 5-6 years?”  and “Why am I not THERE yet?”

The notion of “There” is so ambiguous and demanding.  Everyday in our lives, we hear “successful” stories of start up entrepreneurs.  On television shows we see young wealthy kids doing this and that.  The Olympics champions are younger than we are now.  So then we begin to believe that’s where “There” is.  Or at least, that’s what I believe my “there” is.

To me, “there” is becoming a millionaire, how many millions would I own?  I do not care as long as I make it to the Forbes richest people list?  Actually, as long as I make it to the youngest billionaire club (since the youngest millionaire list is getting a big too long, so my new goal is to be in the shorter billionaire list)

If that “there” can’t be achieved, then another place to be is to change millions of lives.  I can be the next mother Teresa or the next youngest Nobel Peace Prize winner.

Maybe my “there” is just to be a successful entrepreneur with the newest ideas and gadgets.

Maybe… maybe… maybe…

I kept pushing myself to these places and completely be demolished everyday when I come home and eat my home cooked dinner that I can afford to purchase at Trader Joes as my pride.  But I had enough.

I was reminded by my best friend that those are the 1%, and the rest of the world are not.  I was reminded of all the things I have accomplished compared to the 99% or the 50%.  I was reminded of God, the one who actually make everything possible.

So for today, I learnt to pause and redefine my “there.”  I am 26 year old, single and recently heart broken because I stupidly intentionally do so.  I make mistakes and learn from it.  Just like the rest of the 99% of 20 something year old.  I learnt that my “there” today is to pause and learn from my own mistakes first before consuming all my energy creating the next unrealistic “there” like how to earn a million dollars without having to create something.

So where am I?  I’m in my bedroom, typing a blog, listening to the annoying yet familiar clicking sound of the heater in my single bedroom apartment.  I am working in a company and having a job in this unstable world where Ukraine is at the verge of defaulting on their debt and people around me are applying for jobs.  I am living in a warm, heated apartment where I can control how hot or how cold I want to be.  I am just back from a girls night out at an expensive restaurant where I could afford to have more than 1 type of food and to choose what I want to eat.

I need to learn to appreciate what I have.  That’s where.  However, for the tomorrow’s “where,”  I am going to learn a hard skill, this is from one of the google answers to my question.  The question is, what hard skill….. and this… is another “where”


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